Dear Engaged Couple,
I know, I know you were raised to believe that people marry because they are in love. HOWEVER, sometimes love is not the mitigating factor for tying the knot—money is. I wouldn’t say it is COMMON, but several times now, a couple has come to me wanting to marry because one half of the couple is not covered by health insurance. If you are surprised, think again. With health insurance costs creeping ever upward, why not marry, say, if a couple is already living together, and if they love each other?
Several years ago I officiated at a service of a couple who actually had eloped earlier in the year, so that the husband could be covered under the wife’s policy. As far as I know, the couples’ parents are STILL clueless that the “wedding” I performed was actually a reenactment! Good thing that the couple married earlier though. The week of the wedding, the unfortunate groom fell down a flight of stairs. He broke his legs in several places and had to spend several days in the hospital. He actually rolled down the aisle in a wheelchair! As bad as that experience was, at least his fall was covered! There are other reasons, besides love, that people marry. This summer I officiated at the wedding of a couple who had been living together for fifteen years. They owned a house together and together they had raised the woman’s two daughters by an earlier marriage. So why marry? This generous couple had decided to adopt two little boys, and in order to do that, they had to produce a marriage license. The wedding was at the couple’s home. The boys attended the wedding, jumping on the furniture and playing hide and seek behind the sofa. The two daughters dressed for the occasion, as did the bride and groom. It was touching to behold. After the service, there were hugs, tears and laughter all around and then the family squeezed into their car and road to a Pizza Hut to celebrate.
Yours truly has learned not to pass judgment on WHY couples decide to marry. I trust that they have weighed carefully the pros and cons of marriage. I can ask questions, and I offer premarital counseling services to help them navigate their relationship, but it is ultimately the couple’s decision not mine, as to whether they should marry. I hope and pray that it is the right one.
Happy Wedding Planning! Your Wedding Preacher
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