Listening to the radio the other day I heard that in Japan, brides and grooms, wanting to impress their beloved, or their beloved’s family, sometimes hire fake wedding guests. These are pretend bosses, secretaries, past lovers, or rich aunts and uncles, well dressed all, and eager to play the role they have been assigned. Sometimes the fakers even prepare and deliver moving speeches, to honor the grooms and/or bridegrooms—at an added price, of course.
I am not one to judge, really I’m not. I am a pastor, after all. Jesus says, “Judge not, unless you be judged,” or something like that. However, in this case, I can’t help myself. “What is the world coming to?” I mean, isn’t a marriage doomed even before vows are exchanged, if the bride and groom cannot be honest about the kind of company and the number IN that company that he or she keeps.
In the US I assume that the folks who normally make it on a wedding guest list are family members and friends of the bride and groom. If the bride and groom are on the young side, and particularly if the bride’s and groom’s parents are footing the bill, they have almost a right to include many of THEIR friends in the final tally of guests, too. Deciding who to invite, then, can become a highly charged political issue, months before the bride and groom pronounce their “I do’s.” After all, there are at least six people involved in creating the guest list—parents of the bride, parents of the groom, and the bride and groom themselves.
Over the years I have collected quite a few “rules of thumb” as regards the wedding ceremony—for instance, I can tell you on which arm the father of the bride escorts his daughter (his left arm). I can tell you who exits the wedding ceremony first of the parents (the parents of the bride). I admit, though, that I have never heard a rule of thumb regarding wedding guests. I would hope, though, that it is usually a decision more of the heart than the head, and a decision more of the heart than of the ego.
Just some thoughts.
Happy wedding planning
Your wedding preacher for hire
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