Dear Engaged Couples—
This blog is about any of you who are of Korean descent and want to include Korean elements in your wedding,, or maybe better, at your rehearsal.
Last week I officiated at a wedding at Veritas Vineyard, a lovely venue just outside Charlottesville.
The groom’s family is from Korea and he and his bride wanted to do something to honor his side of the family. Sadly maybe, Korean weddings today mimic those in the US—the bride wears a white gown, the groom a suit, there are flowers, a reception after….however, the bride and groom did their homework and discovered some rich wedding traditions from the Korea that once was.
Before the wedding, the bride and her soon-to-be mother-in-law, went shopping. In Korea. While there, they bought a wedding gown for the bride. This was a colorful frock to say the least, and very beautiful. The bride wore it at the rehearsal, which besides being that, a rehearsal, was also the time the bride and groom chose to honor those Korean traditions.
One Korean tradition is the giving of mandarin ducks. Originally, real ducks or geese were used—but today, sculpted or “whittled’ wooden ducks are the gift of choice. They are given to the bride’s parents, as a kind of peace offering, perhaps? Mandarin ducks mate for life, and so there is the implication that the bri
de’s parents aren’t losing a daughter, they are gaining a life-long son. So, after the rehearsal proper, but before friends and family members departed for the rehearsal dinner, the bride and groom in this story, gave some lovely carved mandarin ducks to the bride’s parents.
It is Korean Tradition that the mother-of-the-groom tosses chestnuts and dates at the bride who must catch them in her colorful and ample skirt!
Next came the ceremonial bow. Traditionally, a Korean bride and groom bow to both sets of parents, as a way to thank them for life, and all the happiness that life (including marriage) offers.
Finally, the bride stood apart from her husband-to-be—and let the fur fly. Well, not fur exactly. In Korean tradition, the mother of the groom, throws (gently, not maliciously) dates and chestnuts the bride’s way. The bride must try to catch them in her long, colorful wedding skirt. Dates represent female children; chestnuts represent male children. The number of dates and chestnuts represents the number of children the couple will produce. The bride-to-be in this story caught five dates and five chestnuts. The couple didn’t seem alarmed, though. The bride and groom smiled and said something to the effect, “Well, thankfully this is JUST a tradition.”
The wedding, by the way, went off without a hitch—it was a breezy day, but sunny and joyful, as weddings should be.
Happy Wedding Planning!
Your wedding preacher or hire
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